梦中儿女Dream Children（1/2）

查尔斯·兰姆/ Charles Lab

查尔斯·兰姆（1775—1834），英国最杰出的小品文作家、散文家。因家境贫寒，15岁便辍学谋生，供职于东印度公司长达32年之久。兰姆十分赞赏浪漫主义思潮中人性主义的主张，并把这些用于自己温情款款的个性化散文创作。同时，他也热爱城市生活，善于用敏锐独特的眼光捕捉市井生活中变幻的都市风情。他对英国文学的真正贡献来自于他后期的《伊里亚随笔》，其丰富的情趣和精妙的表述为兰姆赢得了英国散文创作中首屈一指的地位。

Acethe Hole

Uand these new words before you read this article.

1. adjog [?d??i?] adj. 邻接的

2. apparition [,?p?ri??n] n. 灵魂

3. arble [ɑ:bl] n. 大理石

Children love to listen to stories about their elders, when they were children; to stretch their iagation to the ion of a traditireat-uncle reat-aunt, who they never saw. It wasthis spirit that y little ones crept aboutthe other eveng to hear about their great-grandother Field, who liveda great hoeNorfolk (a huis bigger than thatwhich they and papa lived) which had been the se—so at least it was generally believedthat part of the untry—of the tragic ts which they had tely bee failiar with fro the bald of the Childrenthe Wood. Certa it is that the whole story of the children and their cruel uncle was to be seen fairly carved outwood upon the ey-piece of the great hall, the whole story down to the Rob Redbreasts; till a foolish rich person pulled it down to set up a arble one of oderionits stead, with no story upon it. HereAlice put out one of her dear other’s looks, too teo be called upbraidg.

Then I went on to say, hio and how good their great-grandother Field was, how beloved and respected by everybody, though she was not deed the istress of this greenhoe, but had only the charge of it(aso respects she ight be said to be the istress of it too) itted to her by the owner, who preferred livga newer and ore fashionable ansion which he had purchased sowherethe adjog unty; but still she livedita anner as if it had been her o the dignity of the great hoea sort while she lived, which afterwards ca to decay, and was nearly pulled down, and all its old ornants stripped and carried away to the owner’s other hoe, where they were set up, and looked as awkward as if so oo carry away the old tobs they had seen tely at the Abbey, and stick the upLady C.’s tawdry gilt drag-roo. Here John siled, as uch as to say,“that would be foolish deed.”And then I told how, when she ca to die, her funeral was attended by a nurse of all the poor, and so of the gentry too, of the neighborhood for any iles round, to show their respect for her ory, becae she had been such a good and religio woan’s good deed that she knew all the Psaltery by heart, aye, and a great part of the Testant besides. Here little Alice spread her hands.

Then I told what a tall, upright, graceful person their great-grandother Field once was; and howher youth she was esteed the best dancer—here Alice’s little right foot pyed an vontary ovent, till upon y lookg grave, it desisted—the best dancer, I was sayg,the unty, till a cruel disease, called a cer, ca, and bowed her down with pa; but it uld never bend her good spirits, or ake the stoop, but they were still upright, becae she was so good and religio. Then I told how she was ed to sleep by herselfa lone chaber of the great lone hoe; and how she believed that an apparition of o fants was to be seen at idnight glidg up and down the great staircase near where she slept, but she said“hose s would do her no har;”and hhteo be, thoughthose days I had y aid to sleep with , becae I was never half so good io as she—a I never sawthe fants. Here John expanded all his eyebrows and tried to loeo.

Then I told how good she was to all her grand-children, havgto the great hoethe holidays, where Iparticur ed to spend any hours by yself,gazg upon the old bts of the Twelve Caesars, that had been Eperors of Ro, till the old arble heads would see to live aga, or I to be turo arble with the, how I never uld be fired with roag about that huge ansion, with its vast epty os, with their worn-out hanggs, ftterg tapestry and carved oaken panicle, with the gildg alost rubbed out—sotisthe spacio old—fashioned gardens, which I had alost to yself, unless when now and then a solitary gardeng an would cross —and how the ares and peaches hung upon the walls, without y everto pck the, becae they were forbidden fruit, unless now and then,—and becae I had ore pleasurestrollg about aong the old ncholy-lookg yew trees, or the firs, and pickg up the red berries, and the firapples, which were good for nothg but to look at—orlyg about upon the fresh grass, with all the fe garden slls around —or baskgthe ery, till I uld alost fancy yself ripeng, too; along with the es and the listhat grateful warth—orwatchg the dace that darted to and frothe fish pond, at the botto of the graven, with here and there a great sulky pike hangg idway dowerslient state, as if it ocked at their ipertent friskg,—I had ore pleasurethese by-idle diversions thanall the sweet fvors of peaches, ares, es, and such like on baits of children. Here John slyly deposited back upoe a bunch of grapes, whiot unobserved by Alice, he had ditated dividg with her, and both seed willg to relquish the for the present as irrelevant.

Then,sowhat a ore heighteone, I told how, though their great-grandother Field loved all her grand-childrean especial anner she ight be said to love their uncle, John L.—,becae he was so handso and spirited a youth, and a kg to the rest of ; and, stead of opg aboutsolitary ers, like so of , he would ount the ost ttleso horse he uld get, when but an ip no bigger than theselves, and ake it carry hi half over the untya , and jo the hunters when there were any out—a he loved the old great hoe and gardens too, but had too uch spirit to be alent up with their bounties—and how their uncle grew up to ae as brave as he was handso, to the adiration of everybody, but of their great-grandother Field ost especially; and how he ed to carryupon his back when I was a —footed boy—for he was a good bit older than —any a ile when I uld not walk for pa;—and howafter life he beca -footed too, and I did not always (I fear) ake allowances enough for hi wheient andpa, nor reber suffitly how e he had been towhen I was -footed; and how when he died, though he had not been dead an hour, it seed as if he had died a great while ago, such a distahere is beixt life ah; and how I bore his death ask thought pretty well at first, but afterwards it haunted and haunted ; and though I did not cry or take it to heart as so do, and as I thk he would have done if I had died, yet I issed hi all day long, and knew not till then how uch I had loved hi, I issed his kdness, and I issed his crossness, and wished hi to be alive aga, to be quarrellg with hi (for we quarreled sotis), rather than not have hi aga, and was as uneasy without hi, as he their poor u have beehe doctor took off his libo Here the children fell a cryg, and asked if their littlewhich they had on was not for uncle John, and they looked up, and prayednot to go on about their uncle, but to tell the so stories about their pretty dead other.

Then I told how for seven long years,hope sotis, sotisdespair, yet persistg ever, I urted the fair Alice W. and, as uch as children uld uand, I exped to the what yness, and difficulty, and denial antadness—when suddenly turng to Alice, the soul of the first Alice looked out at her eyes with such a reality of representnt, that I becadoubt which of the stood there before , or whose that bright hair was; and while stood gazg, both the children gradually grew fater to y view, recedg, and still recedg, fill nothg at st but o ournful features were seenthe utter ost distance, which, without speech, strangely ipressed uponthe effects of speech:“We are not of Alior of thee, nor are we children at all. The children of Alice call Baran father. We are nothg; less than nothg, and dreas. We are only what ight have been, and t wait upoedio shores of Lethe illions of ages before we have existence, and a na”and idiately awakg, I found yself quietly seatedy bachelor archair, where I had fallen asleep, with the faithful Bridget unged by y side—but John L. (or Jas Elia) was gone forever.

参考译文

孩子们都爱听长辈们年少时的故事，他们会对素未谋面的叔公或老祖母展开想象。在一个夜晚，正是带着这种精神，我的孩子们围在我身边，听他们老祖母菲尔德的故事。菲尔德住在诺福克郡的一所大房子里（要比我们现在住的大一百倍）。那是一个发生过悲剧的地方——至少当地人都这样认为。孩子们最近从《林中的孩子》这首民谣中知道了诺福克郡大房子里的故事。实际上，孩子们、凶残叔叔和知更鸟的整个故事，竟然被雕刻在那所房子客厅的壁炉架上，直到一个愚蠢而又富有的人把它变成一块现代的大理石。故事讲到这里时，艾丽丝脸上表现出酷似她亲爱的母亲的神情，温柔得让人不忍心再去责难。

接着，我开始讲他们的老祖母是多么虔诚、多么善良，多么受人爱戴与尊敬，尽管她并不是那所房子的主人，而只是一名管家（然而，从某种意义上讲，她也算是女主人），效忠于她的主人。房子的主人更喜欢住在已经买下的附近的那所房子里，它更新、更时髦。而他们的老祖母仍住在那里，好像那房子已成为她自己的一样。在她的有生之年，她尽量维护着那所老房子的体面，后来房子颓败不堪，几乎要倒塌了，而且房屋中古旧的装饰物都被拆卸下来，装到了主人的另一所房子里。这些装饰物竖在那里，像是有人把最近他们看到的被盗古墓里的东西，堆放在贵妇人华丽的镀金客厅里一样。讲到这里，约翰笑了，似乎在说“那的确够愚蠢”。然后，我告诉他们老祖母是怎样、什么时候去世的，方圆数英里的穷人和一些贵族都参加了她的葬礼，以表达对她的怀念与尊敬之情。因为他们的老祖母是那样一个善良、虔诚的女人，她熟记所有的赞美诗，以及《新约》的大部分内容。这时，艾丽丝不禁伸开双手表示敬仰。

再后来，我告诉他们菲尔德老祖母曾经多么的高挑、美丽，年轻时被公认为是最出色的舞者——这时，艾丽丝的小右脚不由自主地踏起了节奏，直到看到我神情严肃，才停止——我正在说他们的老祖母曾是村里跳舞跳得最好的。后来，她得了一种叫癌症的可怕疾病，疾病的痛苦给了她很大打击，然而，从来没有击倒她的精神，也没有使她屈服。她的精神依旧高昂，因为她是那样的善良和虔诚。我还告诉孩子们，她过去是怎样习惯于一个人睡在那所空****的大房子里的。她相信，午夜的时候能看见两个孩子的灵魂，它们在她房间附近的楼梯上滑上滑下。但是，她说：“那两个天真的幽灵并不会伤害我。”尽管现在女佣会陪我睡，但是我还是常常感到害怕，因为我连她的一半善良和虔诚都没有，从来都是。不过，我也从来没有见过那两个鬼魂。这时，约翰挑起他的眉毛，想要表现得很勇敢。

接着，我谈到菲尔德祖母对孙子、孙女有多好。宗教节日的时候，她总会接我们到那所大院里去。在那里，我尤其喜欢一个人待上几个小时，凝视着那12个古老的恺撒——古罗马皇帝的半身像，直到这些古旧的大理石似乎复活了，或者我也同他们一样变成了大理石。那所巨宅里有大而空的房间、破旧的帷帐、舞动的织锦和雕刻的橡木面板（上面的镀金几乎剥蚀干净了）。我曾不知疲倦地在那里游**。有时，我也会到古式的大花园里去，那里几乎也只是我一个人，除了偶尔会有一个园丁从我身边经过。那里油桃与蜜桃挂满了围墙，可是我从来没有勇气去采摘，因为那些都是禁果，除非偶尔为之。还因为我更喜欢在古老而略显忧郁的紫杉或冷杉间穿行，摘一些红浆果或冷杉球果。除了欣赏，这些东西什么用处都没有。或者躺在鲜嫩的草地上，让花园中各种美好的气息围绕在我身边；或者在橘园晒太阳，在那暖洋洋的阳光里，我幻想着自己同橘子一起慢慢成熟；或者看雅罗鱼在鱼塘里急速地游来游去，在池底，随处可以看到一只阴沉的梭子鱼傲慢地停在水中央，似乎在嘲笑雅罗鱼的鲁莽行为。比起蜜桃、油桃、橘子，以及其他这类对孩子有**的东西，我更喜欢这忙中有闲的娱乐。这时，约翰把一串葡萄偷偷放回盘中，艾丽丝也一定看到了葡萄，约翰原本是想要和她一起分享的，而此刻两人都若无其事地抛弃了它。

然后，我稍稍提高了声音继续讲下去。我告诉他们，尽管他们的曾祖母非常疼爱所有的孙子孙女，但是她更宠爱他们的伯伯——约翰，因为他是一个非常英俊、非常勇敢的小伙子，也是我们的孩子王。他不像我们闷闷不乐地独自待在凄凉的角落。在像我们这样大的时候，他就会骑上能找到的最狂野的马，早晨驾驭着它跑遍半个村子，在猎人们出发的时候加入他们的队伍。不过，他也喜欢那座古老的房子和花园，只是他的精力过于旺盛，忍受不了那里的束缚。他们的伯伯成年后，依旧那样英俊神武，让每个人都钦慕不已，他们的曾祖母更是引以为荣。当我由于疼痛不能走路，也就是跛脚的时候，年长于我的伯父便常常背着我走上数英里。再后来，他也瘸了腿，而我恐怕在他烦躁、痛苦的时候，不能总是给他足够的照顾，也不能记起在我腿瘸时，他是怎样悉心呵护我的。而当他死的时候，尽管只过了一个小时，我却觉得过了好久，这就是生与死的距离。起初，我还能让自己平静地接受他的离去，但是后来，这种痛苦时时折磨着我。尽管我没有像其他人那样伤心落泪，幻想自己可以代替他去死，但是我整日整夜地思念他，直到那时我才知道我多么爱他。我想念他的善良，想念他的固执，希望他能活过来，再跟他吵吵架（因为我们有时会吵），而不想失去他。失去他，我的不安就像他被大夫手术时一样令人痛苦。——这时，孩子们哭了。他们问他们身上的丧服是否是为约翰伯伯穿的。他们抬着头，请求我不要再讲述有关伯伯的事情，而是谈谈他们已故的漂亮妈妈。

于是，我给孩子们讲道，在追求那个精灵般的女子七年的时间里，我时而充满希望，时而又失望不已，然而始终不渝。我尽量以孩子们能理解的程度，向他们解释少女身上的羞怯、敏感与回绝——当我突然转向艾丽丝时，第一个艾丽丝的灵魂在小艾丽丝的眼里活生生地出现了，以至于我有些怀疑是?站在我的面前。而当我定睛看去时，两个孩子在我的视野中渐渐地变得模糊，越来越远，直到消失，只在最远的地方剩下哀伤的面孔。尽管她们什么也没说，但我仿佛听到了他们的话：“我们不是艾丽丝的孩子，不是你的孩子，我们也不是孩子。艾丽丝的孩子叫巴尔曼爸爸。我们什么也不是，连梦幻都不是。我们只是可能存在的人物，在真实存在之前，我们必须要遗忘河边苦苦等上数百万年，然后才有一个名字。”——我突然惊醒，发现自己静静地坐在我的轮椅上。原来，我在那里睡着了，忠诚的布里吉特还守在我身边，但是约翰（或者詹姆斯）永远失去了踪影。

心灵小语

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