幸福与娱乐毫不相干The Essence of Happiness(1/2)
Uand these new words before you read this article.
1. gl??r?s] adj.富有魅力的;迷人的
2. clg [kl??]to 忠实于
3. endeavor[dev?] n. 努力,尽力
4. evitably[evit?bli] adv. 不可避免地;必然地
5. charitable[t??rit?bl] adj. 慈善的;施舍慷慨的;宽容的
6. ntribute[k?ntribju:t] to 促成;有助于
7. pera[p?:?n?nt] adj. 永久的,永恒的;永远的
I livethe nd of Disney, Hollywood and year round sun. You ay thk peoplesuch a goro fun filled pce are happier than others. If so, you have so istakes about the nature of happess.
Many telligent people still equate happess with fun. The truth is that fun and happess have little or nothgon. Fun is what we experience durg an act. Happess is what we experieer an act. It is deeper, ore abidg eotion.
The eople clg to the belief that a fun filled, pa free life equals happess actually diishestheir ces of ever attag real happess. If fun and pleasure are equated with happess, then pa t be equated with unhappess. Butfact, the opposite is true: More tis than not, thgs that lead to happess volve so pa.
As a result, any people avoid the very endeavors that are the source of tree happess. They fear the pa evitably brought by such thgs as arriage, raisg children, professional achievent, religio itnt, civic or charitablework, and self-iprovent.
Ask a bachelor why he resists arriage even though he fds datg to be less and less satisfyg. If he’s ho, he will tell you that he is afraid of akg a itnt. For itnt isfah ovent, but they are not its ost distguishg features.
Siirly, uples who choose not to have children are decidgfavor of paless fun over paful happess. Theyde out whehey want, travel wherever they want and sleep as te as they want. Couples with fant children are cky to get a whole night’s sleep or a three-day vakg the to bed at night. They never know the joy of watchg a child grow up or of pyg with a grandchild.
But these fors of fun do not ntributeany way to y happess. More difficult endeavors—writg, raisg children, creatg deep retionship with y wife, tryg to do goodthe world—will brgore happess thanever be foundfun, that least perahgs.
Uandg ag that true happess has nothg to do with fun is one of the ost liberatg realizations weever e to. It liberates ti: now wedevote ore hours to activities thatgenuely crease our happess. It liberates oney: buyg that new car or those fancy clothes that will do nothg to crease our happess now sees potless. And it liberatesfro envy: we now uand that all thoro people we were so sure are happy becae they are always havg so uch fun actually ay not be happy at all.
The ont we uand that fun does n happess, we began to lead our lives differently. The effectbe, quite literally, life transf.
我住在好莱坞迪斯尼乐园,那里全年阳光普照。你可能认为生活在那么富于魅力,充满乐趣的地方,一定比其他地方的人更幸福。如果这么想,你可能对幸福的真谛有些误解。
很多聪明的人仍将幸福等同于乐趣。其实,乐趣和幸福的共同之处极少,或者说根本就没有。乐趣是行为过程中的感受,而幸福是我们行为过后的感受,它是一种更为深刻、持久的感情。人们坚信充满欢乐,远离痛苦的生活方式就等于幸福。实际上,这样反而减少了他们获得真正幸福的机会。如果欢乐和愉快等同于幸福,那痛苦就等同于不幸。其实恰恰相反,多数情况下,能带来幸福的事物往往包含诸多痛苦。
所以说,许多人所逃避的艰难困苦恰恰是真正幸福的源泉。这些人害怕那些必定会带来痛苦的事情,如结婚、抚养子女、提高专业技能、承担宗教义务、社会服务或慈善事业,提升自我等。
尽管一个单身者对约会越来越不感兴趣,但当你问他为什么还不想结婚时,如果他很诚实,就会告诉你,他怕承担责任。因为承担责任确实是一件痛苦的事情。独身生活充满着乐趣、冒险和**。婚姻虽然也有如此体验,却大为逊色。
同样,选择不要孩子的夫妻都有一种观点,即宁可要不痛苦的欢乐,也不要痛苦的幸福。他们可以随时出去吃饭,旅游,想睡到多晚就睡多晚。而有孩子的夫妻,睡上一整晚,或有三
天假期,算是幸运的了。我想,任何夫妇都不会用“乐趣”这个词来形容抚养孩子。
但是,不要孩子的夫妇永远也体会不到,拥抱孩子或晚上给孩子掖好被子时的愉悦。他们永远不知道,看着孩子长大或者逗弄儿孙的乐趣。
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