赞美的力量How to Make People Like You Instantly（1/2）

Read the article quickly and ahe follog questions.

1. Did you ever praise people without tryg to get sothg fro the?

2. In your opion what’s the ost iportant prciple of gettg along with the others?

I was waitgle tister a letterthe post office at Thirty-third Street ah AvenueNew York. I noticed that the clerk appeared to be bored with the job—weighg envelopes, handg out staps, akg ge, issug receipts—the sa onotono grd year after year. So I said to yself:“I a gog to try to ake that clerk like . Obvioly, to ake hi like , I t say sothg niot about yself, but about hi. So I asked yself, what is there about hi that Iholy adire?”

That is sotis a hard question to answer, especially with strangers; but,this case, it happeo be easy. I stantly saw sothg I adired no end.

So while he was weighg y envelope, I rearked with enthias:“I certaly wish I had your head of hair.”

He looked up, half-startled, his face beag with siles.

“Well, it isn’t as good as it ed to be,”he said odestly.

I assured hi that although it ight have lost so of its priste glory,heless it was still agnifit. He was sely pleased. We carried on a pleasant little ion and the st thg he said towas:“Many people have adired y hair.”

I’ll bet that perso out to nch that day walkg on air.I’ll bet he went ho that night and told his wife about it. I’ll bet he lookedthe irror and said:“It is a beautiful head of hair.”

I told this story oncepublid a an askedafterwards:“What did you want to get out of hi?”

What was I tryg to get out of hi!!!What was I tryg to get out of hi!!! If we are so ibly selfish that we ’t radiate a little happess and pass on a bit of ho appreciation without tryg to get sothg out of the other persourn—if our souls are no bigger than

sour crab apples, we shall et with the faire we so richly deserve.

Oh yes, I did want sothg out of that chap. I wanted sothg priceless. And I got it. I got the feelg that I had dohg for hi without his beg able to do anythg whateverreturn for . That is a feelg that flows and sgsyour ory long after the t is past.

There is one all-iportant w of huan nduct. If we obey that w, we shall alost never get to trouble. In fact, that w, if obeyed, will brguntless friends and nstant happess. But the very stant we break the w, we shall get to erouble.

The w is this: Always ake the other person feel iportant. John Dewey, as we have already noted, said that the desire to be iportant is the deepest urgehuan nature; and Willia Jas said：“The deepest prciplehuan nature is the cravg to be appreciated.”As I have already poted out, it is this urge that differentiatesfro the anials. It is this urge that has been responsible for civilization itself.

Philosophers have beeg on the rules of huaionships for thoands of years, and out of all that specution, there has evolved only one iportant precept. It is not new. It is as old as history. Zoroaster taught it to his followersPersia enty-five hundred years ago. fuci preached itCha enty-four turies ago:“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

有一次，在纽约33街区的一个邮局里，我正在排队寄一封挂号信，无意间发现那位负责收寄挂号信的工作人员看起来对工作很厌烦的样子——称信、取邮票、找零、开收据……年复一年地重复着这些单调乏味的动作。

于是，我暗暗对自己说：“我一定要让这个人注意我。显然，让他注意我，我就一定要对他说一些赞美的话——不是关于我的，而是关于他的。”于是，我问自己：“他身上有哪些东西值得我称赞呢？”

有时，这样的问题很难有答案，特别是在面对一个陌生人的时候。然而，巧合的是，我一眼就发现了他身上值得我称赞的地方。这样一来，事情就变得简单多了。

于是当他为我称信时，我热情地对他说：“我真希望能有像您这样的好头发。”

听了我的话，他抬起了头，显得有些吃惊，脸上还露出一丝由衷的微笑。

“不过，现在没有以前的好了。”他很谦虚地说。

我真诚地对他说，尽管头发的光泽或许比以前稍差了点，不过看上去依然很不错。他显得非常高兴，我们开心地聊了起来。最后，他对我说：“许多人都曾夸奖过我的头发。”

我相信，他那天吃午餐的时候肯定是心情欢畅的；我相信，他晚上回家后，肯定会跟他的妻子讲起这件事；我还相信，他会站在镜子前欣赏着自己的头发，并由衷地说上一句：“我的头发多漂亮啊！”

我曾经在一个公开场合讲过这个故事。故事讲完后有个人问我：“您希望从他那里得到些什么呢？”

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