递给母亲的甜蜜抚慰（1/2）

Squeeze My Hand and I’ll Tell You that I Love You

玛丽·马尔丹特/Mary Marte

Reber when you were a child and you fell and hurt yourself? Do you reber what your other did to ease the pa? My race Rose, would pickup, carryto her bed, sitdown and kiss y“owwie.”Then she’d sit on the bed beside , take y handhers and say,“When it hurts, squeeze y hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”Over and over I’d squeezeher hand, and each ti, without fail, I heard the words,“Mary, I love you.”

Sotis, I’d fd yself pretendg I’d been hurt jt to have that ritual with her.As I grew up, the ritual ged, but she always found a way to ease the pa and crease the joy I feltany area of y life.On difficult days durg high school, she’d offer her favorite Hershey chote alond bar when I returned h y 20s, Mo often called to suggest a spontaneo piich at Estabrook Park jt to celebrate a war, sunny dayWisns.A handwritten thank-you note arrivedthe ail after every sgle visit she and y father ade to y hof how special I was to her.

But the ost orable ritual reaed her holdg y hand when I was a child and sayg,“When it hurts, squeeze y hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”

One , when I wasy te 30s, follog a visit by y parents the night before, y father phonedat work.He was always andg and clearhis dires, but I heard nfion and panichis voice.“Mary, sothg’s wrong with your other and I don’t know what to do.Please e over as quickly as you .”

The 10-ute drive to y parents’ho filledwith dread, w what was happeng to y other.When I arrived, I found Dad pacgthe kit and Mo lyg on their bed.Her eyes were closed and her hands rested ooach.I called to her, tryg to keep y voice as cal as possible.“Mo, I’ here.”

“Mary?”

“Yes, Mo.”

“Mary, is that you?”

“Yes, Mo, it’s .”

I wasn’t prepared for thequestion, and when I heard it, I froze, not knog what to say.

“Mary, a I gog to die?”

Tears welled up sideas I looked at y lovgthere so helpless.

My thoughts raced, until this question crossed y d: What would Mo say?

I paed for a ont that seed like a illion years, waitg for the words to e.“Mo, I don’t know if yog to die, but if you o, it’s okay.I love you.”

She cried out,“Mary, I hurt so uch.”

Aga, I wondered what to say.I sat down beside her on the bed, picked up her hand and heard yself say,“Mo, when it hurts, squeeze y hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”

She squeezed y hand.

“Mo, I love you.”

Many hand squeezes and“I love you”passed beeen y other anddurg theo years, until she passed away fro ovarian cer.We never know when our onts of truth will e, but I do know now that when they do, whover I’ with, I will offer y other’s sweet ritual of love every ti.“When it hurts, squeeze y hand and I’ll tell you that I love you.”

小时候跌倒了受伤后的情形，你还记得吗？还记得妈妈是怎样抚慰我们的伤痛吗？在这种情形下，我的妈妈雷格斯·罗斯就会把我抱起，放到她的**，亲吻我摔痛的地方。然后坐在我身旁，握住我的小手说：“痛的时候，握紧我的手，我会告诉你我爱你。”一次又一次，我握紧了她的手。无一例外的是，每次我都能听到她说：“玛丽，我爱你。”

我发现，有时自己假装受伤，那样做只是为了得到她这样的抚慰。尽管这种抚慰的形式伴随着我的成长而有所变化，但是她总会找出一种方法抚慰我的伤痛，增加我生命中各个角落的欢乐。高中生活中那些艰难的日子里，妈妈会在我回家的时候给我准备好她最喜欢的“荷西”巧克力。20岁的时候，妈妈时常会打电话给我，提议去易斯特布鲁克公园野餐，庆祝威斯康星州温暖明媚的日子。妈妈和爸爸来我家探望我之后，便会有一张手写的感谢便条邮寄过来，那是为了提醒我：对她来说，我这个女儿是多么重要。

然而，最令我记忆深刻的抚慰，还是小时候妈妈握着我的手说：“痛的时候，握紧我的手，我会告诉你我爱你。”

我30多岁的一天早晨，爸爸在我上班的时候打来电话。爸爸做事一向有条不紊，但那天我从他的声音中听出了慌乱不安。要知道，前天晚上妈妈和爸爸刚来看望过我。爸爸说：“玛丽，你妈妈出了点儿问题，可是我不知道该怎么办。你尽快回来吧。”

开车到父母家的10分钟车程中，恐惧充斥着我的头脑。一路上，我都在猜测着妈妈出了什么事。到家的时候，我看到父亲正在厨房里忙，而妈妈则躺在**。她闭着双眼，双手放在胃上。我用尽可能平静的声音轻唤她：“妈妈，我在你身边呢。”

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